Bubbles, bubbles everywhere… bubble, bubbles in my hair…

For those of you that didn’t believe me that Cooper likes his bath, here is a new picture. Mommy got a little carried away with the Bedtime bath and a few too many bubbles erupted from the tub. Note to Mommy… when it comes to Cooper’s bath, add the stuff after filling the tub to prevent too many bubbles (Mommy loves bubble baths for herself). Cooper loves to lay and kick his feet and oh… add to the water, but thankfully not the poop kind since the one time he did it. Sunday after his bath I gave him a rub down with some relaxing baby lotion and look how happy he was! He loves just being in his diaper. He did a great job with tummy time and I got several great pictures of him.

Our baby is growing up! He was 3 months old yesterday… or 13 weeks old today! We’ve reached another milestone in that we are probably ready to put the bassinet away. For the last two weeks Cooper has slept in his crib at night and has done great… and so has Mommy. This morning I did find him turned sideways, even with the SwaddleMe blanket on. I’m not sure how he moves so much, but he can. He is getting longer, too. We’ve noticed the 0-3M onesies just don’t fit too well anymore… especially with the size 1 diapers. He can still fit in 0-3M clothes and I hope he will for just a little while longer. It seems like he just got out of newborns a couple of weeks ago… actually, he did.

Last week we had three glorious nights of sleep. Cooper made it about 7 ½ hours all three nights. The last few nights, we’ve been back to nursing at 3am, but I’m sure some “through the night” sleeps are coming. I loved sleeping for the longer stretches, but when I’d wake up there was a part of me that panicked a bit. I wanted to make sure he was okay. I’ve got to stop worrying, but I’m sure many of you could tell me that worrying is just being a parent. The other morning when I went to check on him his hand was cold (not uncommon for Cooper and Daddy) and he was breathing so shallowly that I couldn’t see or feel his chest rise and fall, so I actually shook him a bit to get him to move. I held my breath for a moment. I’m sure he was wondering why Mommy waking him up.

We bought Cooper an exersaucer that will grow with him. It starts out as a play mat with dangling toys above him. He can’t quite pull on them yet to start the music and lights, but he enjoys it when we do it for him. I don’t think it will be much longer and he’ll be able to do it himself. He is starting to grab things with his hands. Eventually, we’ll turn the toys back into an exersaucer and later it turns into a play table once he can stand and walk on his own. Over the weekend we stopped at Target to pick up a few items and we managed to stop in the baby toy aisle. Steve and I thought he needed a new toy. I found a cute sea horse that has a tummy that glows and it plays soothing lullabies with water sounds. Cooper also loves to get kisses from his stuffed animals. Frog, Tigger, and Puddles, his stuffed puppy give great kisses. He is almost ready to giggle. He will get a big grin on his face and make a gurgling sound. It is just fun to watch him become so much more aware of the world around him.

Have I ever said this is amazing???

Before I was a Mom...

I got this from my mom and I thought I'd share! It is sooo true!!!

Before I was a Mom: I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought
about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom: I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed
on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom: I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do
tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got
gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom: I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want
to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I
couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my
life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I
would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom: I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my
body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I
didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that
something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom: I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every
10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy,
the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Happy Friday! I thought I'd share this...

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?'

God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.'

God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?'

God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?'

God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?'

God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.'

God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Adventures in Parenting… take one

Tomorrow Cooper will be ten weeks old… ten weeks! Where does the time go? He is changing before our eyes. I want to hold onto every minute and forever hold them in my heart.

Since my last post we have had a few new experiences. Last Wednesday Cooper had his two month well baby visit. He weighed 9lbs 11oz and was 21 inches long. He is still just a little guy. He got four shots and one oral vaccine. He and Mommy survived, but not without tears for both of us. That was hard and I didn’t watch, but his cries tugged at my heart. Daddy was right there with him, too. While he was in a pretty good mood following them, he did get a fever into Thursday. Poor baby. Overall he looked really good at his appointment. He will go back in two months.

In an attempt to help him feel better after the shots (and because it was Wednesday-bath day) we gave him a warm, soothing bath. Coops proceeded to poop in the tub. Ickapoo. In the past he has been a little fountain and added to the water, but never pooped. Thankfully, Daddy came to the rescue and cleaned the tub while I held onto Cooper. Coops has decided baths aren’t too bad and lays back and enjoys the water (trust me, I know it doesn't look like it from the picture). His tub has a sling to support him and he’ll drop one leg into the water and kick some. I have quickly learned to cover him with a washcloth to prevent the fountain from spraying everywhere… it’s not quite as important now that we are putting the infant tub in the big tub- after the pooping experience, we found it was easier to clean the tub in the bathroom). Before, I would put the tub over the kitchen sink and the dish drainer was in the line of fire. Mommy takes her chances probably too often. Usually I’m pretty lucky. Baby boys!

Yesterday, Cooper had his first real blowout. We’ve had minor leaks, but just onto his clothes. Cooper managed to go through his diaper, the onesie, the SwaddleMe blanket, and the crib sheet. Steve had just changed the crib sheet over the weekend as we are preparing to move him in there at night.

Cooper is starting to sleep longer at night. The last few nights he's gotten up once nurse during the night. I'm enjoying the longer stretches. He has still been in the bassinet next to our bed. I like having him close by, but I think I'm about ready to transition him to the crib. We can at least try it for part of the night and see how he does... or how Mommy does. He is starting to move around more and I've found him at the foot of the bassinet several times. We bought a baby monitor so we’ll be able to hear him. His room is just down the hall from us, but it is going to feel further away. When he first came home, I frequently put him in bed with us and putting him in the bassinet felt like I had sent him to a foreign country. I suppose we should get him in the crib before he is a teenager… for more reasons than one.

Cooper is just an amazing gift. Everyday is a new experience.

Eight weeks old!!!

Wow! Where have the last eight weeks gone??? We have spent most of it trying to figure things out. For Cooper, “where am I?”, “how do I go back?”, and “where’s the milk?” I’m sure are the questions to be answered. For me it’s, “sleep, will I ever sleep again?”, “oh my, does Cooper really want to be fed again?”, and how does one heart have so much love?”. I’m sure Steve is just trying to adjust to Cooper and me. It has been wonderful for the three of us to be home together. No one could have prepared me for parenthood. Have I ever said that I am blessed??? I am! This is all so incredible.



I went back to work on Wednesday for four hours a day through next week. I just wasn’t ready to go back full-time… I could have easily taken a few more weeks (months or years) off. I miss Steve and Cooper while I am at work. When I get home I just want to cuddle with Coops and make up for the hours I missed. Can you imagine how I will be after the 14th? Thankfully, Cooper doesn’t mind the cuddle time. I am very thankful Steve is home with him as I know I wouldn’t be ready to hand him over to a daycare center yet. I’m sure they are getting started on their “boy things” while I am gone… the importance of not letting the squirrel population get out of hand, “big boy” noises, which days to look for the Menards, Home Depot, and Lowe’s ads in the paper… and that the Herbergers ad is yucky. They read books every morning. Steve has said “Colors and animals today… algebra tomorrow.” I promise you we will let him be a kid. We just use the Noah wallpaper boarder during diaper changes, the animal mobile, and the books to point out the names of the animals and colors. He seems to be entertained by it. We get a lot of “oww’s” (Steve thinks it’s owl) and “aguooo’s” from him.



I try to read to Cooper, too, but I read the “mushy” books. I have a new favorite “Cooper” book. It used to be (and is now tied) Love You Forever. If you haven’t read it… a young woman holds her newborn son and sings to him: "I'll love you forever I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." In the end, when he is a grown man and she is an old woman, he sings to her as he cradles her in his arms: "I'll love you forever I'll like you for always as long as I'm living my mommy you'll be." I still struggle to make it through without a tear. Over Easter I found the book You Are My Wish Come True. A momma bear shares with her baby bear how much she wished, prayed for, and waited for him. One day God chose a special child for her and her wish came true. Both are very special books. I just can’t tell Cooper enough how much I love him.



Cooper is and will continue to grow up fast. If the next 18 years go as fast as the last eight weeks, he will be heading to college very soon. On Monday we had him in the crib to do some tummy time and Coops decided he prefers to lie on his back and rolled over. At first I thought it was a fluke, but he did it several times. I laid a blanket out on the floor in his room to play with him there and do some tummy time and sure enough, more rolls. He also has an amazing ability to hold his head up when he is on his tummy, so I’m not too concerned about a flat head. I’ve also watched him roll from his back to his side… that is how he likes to sleep… so much for putting him on his back to sleep, but I don’t think he can roll completely over to his tummy… yet. It just means we need to watch where we put him and I need to take all the stuffed animals out of his crib.

Keep checking back as I will try to update this more often.

Jen

He's here!!!

I’m a little (a lot) late at getting a new post up, but life has been rich and full over the last week and a half.

Where to begin… In Steve’s last post I was contracting, but the progress was very, very slow. We had checked in at 7:30 am on Tuesday and started with a medication to make my cervix for favorable for dilation. We tried four tablets with four hours between each one (for a total of 16 hours). I was contracting on my own, but it’s hard to say how regular they were. I was being externally monitored, but not all of them were being picked up by the monitor- I felt like I wasn’t getting credit for the ones I was having. After a long, uncomfortable night, Wednesday morning we started a low dose of pitocin and as the dose was inched up every 15-20 minutes the contractions started to pick up. Twice Cooper’s heart rate dropped and we had to cut back to half of the dose and start again. Wednesday afternoon they broke my water by attaching an electrode to Cooper’s head to better monitor his heart rate and also put in a monitor for my contractions. At about 5pm on Wednesday, my OB came in (while she wasn’t on-call she was closely following us) and suggested that since I was only 3cm dilated after about 30+ hours of trying to move things along and Cooper was still pretty high up with no signs of coming down, we should throw in the towel and proceed with a c-section. In all honesty while a small portion of me was disappointed, I was ready to be done. My contractions weren’t horrible, but I was tired. I had opted for an epidural about this same time and wondered why I had waited so long. Shortly after talking with my OB, the nurse came in and said the senior OB that was on-call decided maybe we should try the pitocin one more time. Since Cooper had already had two episodes of decelerations since starting pitocin that morning and I was a bit nervous with the thought of doing it again, but felt I needed to trust the OB. My mom and dad were with us and for some reason we were watching Deal or No Deal. A little after 7pm I asked to talk to the OB and about the same time Cooper’s heart rate dropped to 45. I can’t say I remember much, but a flurry of activity in the room. Even though I had my epidural I had enough movement to get on my hands and knees to see if that position would help relieve any compression that may have been on the umbilical cord. I found myself quickly being rushed down the hall to the OR while Steve changed into scrubs. Thankfully, by the time we got to the OR Cooper’s heart rate was up to 120 and things slowed down a bit. Since I had received my epidural I was able to be awake for his delivery. Steve was able to be with him right away. Cooper was born at 7:46 pm at 6lbs 12 oz and 19 inches long.

After a couple of hours of observation time in labor and delivery, we were moved to the postpartum unit. Thursday and Friday were a bit of a blur with trying to recover from the surgery, figuring out breastfeeding Cooper, and visits from the nurses, OB, peds, and others. Cooper had a fever at birth and I had tested positive for Group B strep and had only received one dose of antibiotics during labor, so he was being closely followed by the peds team. He had a couple of other elevated temps so he was started on antibiotics to be safe. I was discharged on Saturday, but Coops needed to be observed for another 24 hours so I was transferred to a houseguest. After a bit of a meltdown (that I’m sure was primarily hormone induced) I moved to a semiprivate room across the hall with the understanding that L&D was slow and the room would likely stay private and Steve could stay with us. I really needed him. He was my emotional stability. Thankfully Cooper was fine and was discharged about 11am on Sunday. We made our way home in subzero temps.

My parents were here until Wednesday of last week and Steve’s parents came Thursday evening and just left this morning. So I guess we are now ready to settle in just the three of us. I can’t say we are in a routine other than nursing about every two hours followed by a diaper change. Steve and I fit in showers and meals when we can. I’ve gotten pretty good at holding Cooper while eating. I’m really not spoiling my baby, I just love holding him. Actually, he is pretty good at being in his bassinet or swing while we eat. I just struggle to hear him cry as it eats at every cell in my body to comfort him. So when he fusses I feel a strong need to pick him up. I have a snuggler… and I LOVE it!

Coops has already picked up a virus… a week and a half old and he’s already sick. The only place we went with him was to the pediatrician for his first well baby visit and to Culvers for about 30 minutes for dinner on Thursday. The only people that have held him besides us were grandparents. Saturday he sounded congested to me and then he melted down Saturday evening and there wasn’t anything we could do to console him. Yesterday the runny nose started with a junky cough. Steve started the humidifier in his room and I sat with him in the bathroom with the shower running. We put saline drops in his nose and frequently suck him out. The poor baby. We called the on-call pediatrician three times in about 12 hours, but I think that’s pretty good for new parents. He still sounds rough, but is definitely more alert. Hopefully he will be past it soon.

Well now that I’ve written a book, I’ll close by saying we are incredibly blessed and in awe of parenthood. There is no doubt that this is a love that can’t be measured.

Love, Jen, Steve, and Cooper

Still working at it

No baby, but Jen is in progress. After coming to the hospital yesterday morning things have been slowly progressing. Jen is sitting in a rocking chair at the moment sucking on a See's candy sucker ( she has only been allowed clear liquids since coming in). Contractions are lasting about 45 seconds every 3-8 minutes with the help of pitocin which started this morning. Will update later. Steve.

Got Baby?

Well it is Monday night and no baby… yet. So we’ll plan to check in tomorrow morning to be induced and hopefully, one way or another, we will have a baby either tomorrow or Wednesday.

Here are a couple of pictures from last night.

Sorry this is short, but I must get to bed to rest for tomorrow’s adventure. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I’ll try to get a post up as soon as I can.

Love,
Jen

Overdue…

We sound like a library book.

We had another OB appointment yesterday and guess what… 1cm. Can you believe it??? 1. What can I say? Little one is just not ready to come. His head is definitely still down, but between him and my body nothing is happening. His little heart was beating along at 145… I love that soothing sound. He is laying lopsided to my right… I almost feel like I have a baby butt in my armpit. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. He is wiggling at the moment with a foot (or something) poking my right ribs.

So… unless something happens over the weekend, we’ll move forward with the induction on Tuesday at 7:30 am. Obviously even that could change depending on how busy Labor and Delivery is. It’s been almost frightening to see in the birth announcement section of the paper that 6-8 babies are born every day. Hopefully Tuesday will be a quiet day. They only have eight birthing rooms. Once we start hopefully we will stay put. The OB we saw yesterday was great in explaining what would happen and informed us that it could be a long process depending on how I respond to the medications. That 30 hour labor prediction could be reality. We will take things as they come and pray for a smooth labor.

Much like last weekend (without the food poisoning), Steve and I will enjoy this weekend as a couple and relax… one more date. We were talking this morning that this will likely be the last weekend as a couple for the next eighteen plus years. We are so embracing this journey, but life will definitely be different. I don’t think there is much we have left to do… baby-wise. I should make sure Steve gets plenty of rest as he will be very busy Tuesday and probably Wednesday.

I’ll try to get one more update in before Tuesday, especially if anything changes. For now keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we prepare for Tuesday.

Love, Jen

DUE DATE

We have met that miracle milestone in pregnancy of reaching our due date, but I think it is going to come and go without the delivery of a baby. Nothing appears to be happening. Oh well. Yesterday we had blizzard warnings and about a -50 degree temperature drop so I would have thought he’d come… don’t babies like blizzards???

Actually, maybe this is best. Steve and I went out with Jackie and Kyle for lunch on Saturday and it looks like Jackie and I picked up a case of food poisoning. Yuck, yuck. Thankfully, we are both back in the land of the living, but I am still a little tired, achy, and probably still a bit dehydrated from the experience. Thank God, I didn’t go into labor on Monday as I really couldn’t move without vomiting. I wouldn’t have been able to do it. On top of it, I couldn’t tell the difference between stomach cramps and contractions. Ever try to hug a toilet with a full-term baby belly? Not to mention trying to get off the floor… sorry- that was too much information. Today I feel every muscle I used to get sick with, especially in my neck and back. I have had two bad chest colds during this pregnancy that I would take 100 times over that one really bad day of vomiting. Food poisoning and pregnancy… I don’t recommend it.

My OB is still on-call tonight and tomorrow night, but I think I have lost hope of her being there for the birth of our son. Oh well. Once again, I have no control over what is happening. So for now, unless little one decides to come, the plan will be to take Monday off to relax. My mom and dad will come that afternoon. Steve and I will check-in on Tuesday morning at 7:30 for the induction and prayfully, little one will arrive sometime later that day or early the 6th. We have an OB appointment tomorrow afternoon, so we’ll see if our plan changes.

I’ll try to get an update in tomorrow after our appointment.

Love, Jen

39 weeks and waiting...

We are still waiting and could be for another two weeks. We saw the OB yesterday and again, no news to report. She didn’t check me as we figure if there is really anything to know, we’ll know soon. Little One appears to be happy hanging out within me. He squirms and wiggles… and seems to be napping at the moment. With it being 0 degrees outside, I’m sure he’d love to stay inside me. He is still head down, his heart rate is fine, my blood pressure and blood sugars are really good, and so we WAIT. He could come tomorrow or the 5th of February. Ironically, I said at our last appointment I need to anticipate it would be the 5th… actually, last Thursday I said I needed to prepare myself for the 5th, with a 30 hour labor, 3 hours of pushing, and a 9lb baby (oh, I hope I am wrong) and sure enough that is our induction date. We are on the schedule for 7:30 that morning. I really don’t want to be induced, but it is nice to know we have an end date set… not as early as I had hoped, but we have a date. I was told yesterday that trying to do an induction when your body isn’t ready really sets you up for a long labor and probably a c-section. As I mentioned before, our OB is on-call next week Monday through Thursday nights, so I wouldn’t mind going any one of those days. Any OB here is probably great and at that point I probably won’t care as long as they manage to get him out- healthy!, but since we’ve seen her for the last many months, it would be nice to have her there. A couple from our prenatal class (Steve and Jan, instead of Steve and Jen) had a little girl on Sunday. They were due February 2nd. I’m a bit jealous. As our OB reminded us yesterday, we need to enjoy our last few days as just a couple as our lives will never be the same. It will be for the better, but it will be different. She is so right. But at the same time have I mentioned that I ache and I’m tired???

So until something exciting happens, a need to ramble, or our next appointment next Thursday (31st)… we wait. Take care and pray for us.

38 2/7: Waiting

Steve and I saw our OB yesterday afternoon. No real news to report. I am 1cm dilated, but as I know some of you could tell me I could be at 1cm for awhile. I’m spending time sitting on my big ball hoping it encourages him to engage a bit more and put pressure on my body to make a bit more progress. Little One continues to be head down and happy. YES!!! His movements are really becoming less intense, but he can still push on my ribs pretty well… and push his head against my bladder. I feel him gently wiggle frequently. Our OB doesn’t think he’ll be a big baby, but she said he could surprise us at 8lbs… and I know 8 is still a nice number. Believe me… I’ve heard a million 10lb baby stories in the last week… that are frequently prefaced or followed by a 36 hour labor story. I know people are well meaning, but… The OB was sharing with us she just had a first time mom that got her epidural in right at the same time they discovered she was completely dilated and she pushed twice. I’m not sure those stories help either. I said I need to plan for February 5th, a 30 hour labor, 3 hours of pushing, and a 9lb baby. Then I will be thrilled when he comes next week with a shorter labor, little pushing, and he is a nice 7lbs. Time will tell. I am constantly reminded that I have little to no control over any of this. We have another appointment on Tuesday. She will schedule an induction for the following week, just so we know we have a date planned if things don’t start on their own. She is on-call the week of the 28th, so my appointment that week will be with another OB, but hopefully that appointment isn’t needed… actually I hope the one on Tuesday isn’t needed either. I’m going to keep my new “hope” date between Steve and me for now.

We are doing great. Many of you know I am a control freak at heart... but I try not to let it show very often. So this waiting and not being able to plan is hard. I really like to know what to expect and when to expect it. I’m one to read everything I can about something new or get all the travel books and maps for a new place we are going to visit. I’ve read my pregnancy and birth books and looked at the internet a bit… that isn’t always the best place to get information. But as I’ve said about many things I’ve experienced during pregnancy, NOTHING is going to really prepare us for what is about to happen. We’ve talked about and know that we are both feeling like we don’t know the first thing about being parents. We both are probably feeling a bit nervous and apprehensive, but you know we are going to do great! We have wonderful family and friends. We have each other! And most importantly we have God, who has blessed us with this miraculous gift.

So for now we wait… and wait… and wait. We’ll get in one more date as we plan to go to a movie tomorrow. Maybe do a little shopping… at least walk a bit. And wait.

More as things progress...

Stork Watch… well, Baby Watch

16 days left!

Back on December 7th’s post, I said I was predicting January 14th was the day and Little One would be 6lbs 7oz. Hmmm, today is January 14th and I really doubt today is the day. I could be hopeful, but since nothing is happening… probably not. I’m ready. Over the last few days I have reached a new feeling of being ready to be done. I LOVE being pregnant!!! and I’ll really miss the feeling of him being inside me. It’s a special gift that only I get to feel, but the time is coming for him to come and meet us. Physically this is becoming a bit more challenging. I had several people say that this would happen. You’ll get so uncomfortable that you want it out. I’m not too uncomfortable yet, but it is getting harder to move and walk. I feel like I have a 6lb. bowling ball on my bladder and a tremendous amount of pressure. I think the Braxton-Hicks contractions are picking up as quite frequently my belly will tighten to feeling like a rock… nothing with consistency in duration or timing. Oh well, soon.

Can you handle on more clothing saga??? I’m sure this will be one of the last ones… my clothes just don’t fit (oh really… surprise, surprise) and I’m really, really getting tired of them. First I didn’t have enough to fill out maternity clothes and I felt like I was “playing” pregnant. Then I finally had enough baby and the clothes fit great. Now they just look silly. Many of my shirts are too short and my pants hit my belly in an awkward spot. I struggle with putting on dress clothes and I just want my sweat pants (that actually aren’t maternity pants and they do fit!) and a t-shirt. I suppose that wouldn’t look very professional.

The good news is that at our OB appointment on Thursday of last week, Little One is head down!!! Hopefully he has gained a bit more weight and can’t flip anymore. I have body parts tackling my ribs, so I’m pretty sure he is still head down. To be safe we will request a quick ultrasound when I go into labor. The OB estimated his weight at about 6lbs. I was down a couple pounds, but hopefully he is getting everything he needs. We’ll see our OB this Thursday and hope all continues to be great. The only disappointing news was that she has previously said that she probably wouldn’t have me go much past 39 weeks and now she is thinking I’d be fine to go to 41… ugh. When he’s ready, he’s ready. I shouldn’t rush this.

Our bags are packed… Steve’s, too. Have I mentioned I have a wonderful husband??? I really do! Yes, I will let him go home… to shower and change, but I have moments of anxiety where I just want to know that I won’t be left there alone for a long period of time. Maybe it’s part of that, “Oh my, I don’t know the first thing about being a parent” panic. There isn’t anything I don’t think we can get through together. He’s my rock. He also put the base of the car seat in the Jeep. So we are ready!

Keep coming back. I’ll try to get an update posted soon after our OB visit on Thursday…

4,3,2,1… Happy Baby!

Okay, so I put a spin on the New Year countdown. We have just four weeks until our due date! What can I say… we are in the home stretch. Everyone keeps saying, “Any day now”, but I think we still have a few days… probably weeks. I am definitely pre-nesting. I don’t think it is nesting yet, but I might be getting close. My parents were here after Christmas and Mom helped me wash four loads of baby clothes and blankets. His crib and bassinet are made. I got the baby’s bag packed and now I’m panicking that mine isn’t done. I keep starting projects and then leave them to work on something else that I think is more pressing. In my head it all makes sense which is incredibly frightening as I have a serious case of “pregnancy brain” going on and I can’t formulate a clear thought. We should probably put the base of the car seat in the Jeep. It’s not like Steve couldn’t put it in before we come home, but I have a need to do it now. I asked him if he wants a change of clothes and a tooth brush in my bag, but he said he’ll just go home to shower and change. Home??? And leave me??? Okay, the hospital is only eight minutes from home, but…leave me???

In the midst of preparing for our little guy’s arrival, I again have picked up a cold. It isn’t horrible, but with trying to get things set at work, preparing at home, slowing down from the holiday rush, being nine months pregnant… I’m really tired. And for some reason my body doesn’t think it needs sleep… at night, anyway. I am so tired of being awake at 3:30 and never quite falling back asleep. No wonder I crashed for about three hours yesterday afternoon. My body needs to be ready to bring this little one into the world. Oh, and did I mention I have pregnancy brain? Mix that with a cold’s fuzzy, disconnected feeling and I really can’t function well. Steve and I spent about an hour or so in labor and delivery triage again on Monday… just to be sure little one and I were both okay. The triage nurse I spoke with on the phone suggested bringing a tooth brush and a change of underwear… just in case since we are getting close to delivery. Now you know why I am in a panic about wanting my bags packed. Initially, we were told they were delivering three babies at the same time so we wouldn’t be seen right away and little one needed to be on the monitor for about an hour. He just wiggled enough occasionally where the monitor wouldn’t pick up his heart rate and the nurse would have to readjust it…. my little wiggle worm. I just loved hearing that soothing sound of his heartbeat. He seemed happy at 140-150 beats. Thankfully we saw the chief OB resident and got out of there fairly quickly with a couple of prescriptions. Delivering three babies at the same time??? Yikes! From the looks of the newspaper birth announcements they have been busy. Oh, I hope all these pregnant women have their babies and it is nice and quiet up there when we get there.

I can’t tell if he has flipped head down yet or not… or if he is just flipping over and over. I can tell that he is moving all the time… and I really mean all the time. I have the wave going on as I write this. My whole belly is moving. What is he doing? We see our OB next Thursday. From there we’ll get an update as to his position and what we need to do. So for now, we wait. Oh, and probably nest until I can’t think of anything else to do.

Well, Happy New Year!!! I pray everyone is blessed in 2008.

Jingle Belly, Jingle Belly, Baby on the Way!

I can’t believe it is Christmas Eve. Life is incredible! Last year during the Christmas Eve service I had the overwhelming sense I’d be very pregnant this year and I am. God heard our prayer and we are blessed!

Steve and I got a Christmas Eve present is afternoon as we got to see our son on ultrasound. It was a growth check and he looks good. I just loved seeing him as it has been about 15 weeks since our last ultrasound. It was a fairly quick exam, but we got to see his profile and face (as best as you can see on ultrasound). His leg, head, and belly were measured. He is measuring about a week behind at about 4lbs 12 oz, but our OB said it isn’t anything to worry about. Actually, it may be to his advantage as he is currently breech and needs to turn. His smaller size may give him the room. She’ll check him in two weeks to see if he has turned head-down. Silly boy! I had a feeling this was the case as my bladder has been a “soccer ball”. However just a few days ago I was feeling the most activity at the top of my belly, so I think he flipped in the last day or so. I’ll likely spend the next week resting on my knees and elbows to encourage him to turn. We have confirmed that he is definitely a boy! The US tech saw what she needed to see with in moments of starting the exam. There is no doubt… he is a boy! Whew, with all the blue it would have been hard to change it all.

We had a great appointment with our OB. After losing little bit of weight since the first part of November, I have packed on three pounds since our last visit. Baby needs it. Our OB suggested packing our bags and pre-registering at the hospital. Of course with it being Christmas Eve, we have to wait as they were all gone this afternoon. She also said if I starting contracting for a minute at about three minutes apart, we need to come in. I guess we really are getting closer. As I mentioned, we’ll see her in two weeks and discuss his position. If he is still head-up we’ll need to discuss an option to try to turn him or plan a c-section. Please turn, Little One!

On that note, I will close for now. Steve and I will go to church tonight and then spend a quiet Christmas together. My mom and dad will be here later this week.

Merry Christmas!

We graduated!...

We graduated!... from our prenatal class. So did the couple that missed two classes, but it's a milestone in the pregnancy journey. Where did those six weeks go? Are we prepared… ready??? Well, maybe we know a little more about what to expect, where to go, and a few techniques for relaxation that I still need to practice, but are we really ready is a tough question to answer. Our lives will never be the same. On one hand I am incredibly anxious to meet this little guy, as you all know and at the same time I have to admit the “unknown” makes me a bit nervous. Yes, I think to truthfully answer the question, we are ready. Steve and I spent sometime on Friday shopping for a few more baby necessities… a crib mattress, newborn size diapers, wipes, a sheet for the bassinet, etc. I’m sure we’ll think of a few more things that we completely forgot. There’s still time and if he arrives and we don’t have something, we’ll get it then. We have a car seat, a crib, clothes, diapers… hmm. We can do it.

My guess is I am sensing time is getting closer. I can look at the calendar and see we have about six weeks until his due date, but I’m also starting to get a maternal sense that he is coming. I’m starting to feel like we need to get stuff organized for our bags. I’m not quite ready to pack the bags, but I did set out little one’s coming home outfit on the changing table so it’s ready. It still needs to be washed. I’m also making a mental note to pull out the items I think I will find comforting during labor… the little back massager, a tennis ball, the Bed Buddy, warm socks, etc. I just don’t want to be frantically saying, “grab this” or “oh, I forgot that” as we are leaving the house. I’ve seen list after list of what to pack, but we still need to tailor it to our needs. And then in the back of my mind I know things don’t always go as planned so I don’t want to get too set in what I think should happen.

Things are becoming a bit more interesting from a physical standpoint. I’ve recently noticed this belly that I’m not sure I remember from a few days ago. Keep in mind I see myself everyday, but there are some days that I look in the mirror and think wow that’s big. I can also tell that rolling over in bed is getting harder. Just flipping sides is a challenge... getting that wonderful Cuddle Pillow to come with me, leave the blankets on Steve, and get comfortable again isn’t easy. Getting up from a reclined position or from bed now requires rolling onto one side and pushing up. My shopping stamina now lasts about two hours. At the same time I get to feel this precious gift growing inside of me. His quick kicks and jabs are changing to longer, more intense movements. He frequently, a couple of times a day, has the hiccups. I’m even more fascinated watching my belly move. I must admit that I will miss feeling him move inside me after he is born. But at the same time it will be so wonderful to know he is here.

Time is definitely getting closer… Take care!

Week 32… Countdown: T-8…

Another week has flown by! We are about 8 weeks from the anticipated arrival (hopefully a few days or a week or two earlier). At our prenatal class we had to guess our arrival date and weight. I said 1/14/08 as I just have that date in my head for some reason and 6lb 7oz. Now that I’ve said it twice, I’m sure he’ll come Feb 5th or so at 9lb 3oz. Please, don’t let him be later or bigger. Anticipation, anticipation! Have I mentioned I’m like a five year old waiting for Christmas???

Speaking of Christmas, I am feeling so behind on so many levels that it just really dawned on me yesterday that Christmas is less than three weeks away. I haven’t started shopping (except for Missy and Mike and boys were done at Thanksgiving) or thought about Christmas cards. Oh my. I’m thinking I have a month or two left. Can I blame it on pregnancy brain and fatigue??? Hopefully this weekend I can get started. We also need to get the tree and a few decorations up. I’m not overly motivated as I’m feeling tired now and can only imagine when it comes time to taking everything down I will be exhausted.

We have had a great week. We had an OB appointment on Monday and little one is right on track. The doc had me lay on my back to measure him and check his heart rate and he apparently didn’t like me laying in that position. His heart rate rose to 160-170s so she had me lay on my side and he dropped to 140s to 150s. The good news is that she is on-call nights the week he is due, so we actually have a chance of her being there if he comes on time. So do I wish to go two weeks early or have my doctor deliver him? I’ve heard that by the time he is due to arrive I won’t care who delivers him, I’ll just want him out. None of it is in my control anyway. We’ll see.

Tuesday night we practiced our labor positions and breathing again. Without being in labor, my favorite position is the “slow dance” with Steve and him rubbing my back. I can breathe the best standing up and the swaying, even now, feels good. Some of my postpartum fears were relieved when our instructor said even if we end up in a semi-private room, our husband may possibly be able to stay and they would move us as soon as a private room opens. Whew. I feel a bit better. I can’t believe we only have one more class. Our OB said soon we will be ready to pre-register and pack our bag. Wow!

Little one and Daddy both had the hiccups yesterday. I can’t say enough how much I love every wiggle and squiggle. It is such a precious gift.

Here’s to another wonderful week! Take care…

Squiggles, wiggles, kicks, and hiccups…

I know I said I was going to try to update more often and now I’m two weeks out from my last post. I just don’t know where time goes. It seems like the days are moving very quickly and I’m sure they will seem to go even faster as the countdown gets shorter.

Little One (No, we don’t have a name yet) has been active… squiggling and wiggling. He has his moments where he is really active and then he can be so quiet that I lay very still waiting for a movement. Last week I was wondering what hiccups felt like and I am 95% sure that he had them last Wednesday night. I had 45 minutes of rhythmic taps and I’m sure they were hiccups. I’ve felt a couple more episodes, but nothing that long. He’s getting longer as I’m feeling movement just under my ribs now.

I’m also starting to have more days where I feel pregnant. Okay, yes, I always felt pregnant, but some days I just really feel pregnant! It is an amazing feeling and I wouldn’t trade it for anything… even when I’m having moments where I just can’t get comfortable. I’m finding tying shoes to be more of a challenge. I can do it, but it really is getting hard. Over the weekend I splurged and bought a new pair of slip-on shoes. It will just make life easier. Do you remember several weeks ago when I had maternity shirts that I didn’t want to wear because I didn’t have much to fill them out??? Well, now I have some maternity shirts that are starting to get short. Oh my, I still have nine weeks until my due date. Several people have warned me that this would likely happen. I think for now I’ll blame the dryer rather than it being little one getting big. Not that I’m as good as my doctor at measuring my belly, but I’m still right on for 30 weeks.

Tomorrow we have week four of six of our prenatal class. Each one again brings more reality to the fact that this is happening and little one will soon come. During the second session we discussed when to report to the hospital and toured the labor and delivery unit. Blueprints for the new labor and delivery unit have been developed, but obviously not in time for us… maybe if we are someday blessed with another baby we’ll get the benefits of it. I have to admit I was surprised that the rooms weren’t as “primitive” as some people have made them sound. Now they aren’t the nice birthing suites many hospitals have where you are in the same room during your entire hospital stay, but at least we can labor and deliver in the same room. No tubs, but they do have a walk-in shower. I don’t think I have previously mentioned that with this particular hospital the OB you see during your pregnancy is very unlikely to be the one to deliver your baby. In fact, with it being a teaching hospital, you are pretty well guaranteed to be delivered by a resident… with a staff OB supervising. I have about a 1 in 20 chance of seeing my OB that day. I am a bit surprised that they haven’t come further along in realm of OB “comforts” that are just expected theses days. I guess it’s better than the days of the father pacing in the waiting room and having little to no participation in the birth of their child. Even the “little” community hospital down the street has a better OB unit. But they don’t have in-house anesthesia 24 hours a day and no immediate access to NICU teams, etc if needed. I guess this is the price we pay for access to NICU, anesthesia, and all the other fine medical services at a moments notice. During the last class we get to tour the postpartum unit. Now that’s were I am really concerned. I have heard that not all of the rooms are private and your husband can only stay overnight if you are in a private room. I can’t imagine Steve having to go home shortly after the birth of his son. In fact, I think I could potentially have a meltdown if that happens. It just doesn’t seem right.

Last week and this week we are looking at the stages of labor, how to cope, and medical interventions… more reality! 10cm has never looked so big… Oh my! We should be practicing the breathing and relaxation techniques at home, but part of me keeps thinking we still have time. However, I’m finding that I’m not as coordinated at breathing as I thought I’d be. How hard can it be???... breathe in, let it out, breathe in, and let it out. Last week, each time I just managed to get into a pattern, little one would kick me and I’d lose my concentration. I have no doubt that Steve will get me through it. The videos we’ve watched have been so nicely edited that I have the naïve idea that I could possibly do this without medications… then a greater reality says, yeah right just try it! I am definitely not opposed to the idea of an epidural. I used to think I’d like it waiting for me at the door, but now I’d like to go without it as long as I can. We’ll see. I’ve never experienced labor and I have no real idea of what to expect. Last week we got a sample birth plan of what we want and don’t want. While I think it’s good to think about, I don’t want to have too many expectations, but would rather take it as it comes. As I have mentioned with other aspects of pregnancy… no matter how many books you read or stories you hear, absolutely nothing can prepare you for what it will really be like.

This is an incredibly journey! Until next time… take care!

Week 28: Soccer World Cup practice…

I’ve gotten a bit off on updating as last week was really busy. I hope to stay more on track as we are now in the last trimester and Little One’s arrival is quickly approaching… or so it seems.

I think Little One is preparing for the Soccer World Cup! Well, at least I think they are feet that are getting me. He was moving for about 30 minutes straight this morning… at 4am. He still has his moments where he is quiet, but he has been quite active over the last week or so. Yesterday, I again sat and watched in amazement as my shirt jumped with some of his larger movements. I’ve started to somewhat keep track of his kicks as part of the third trimester “kick count”. He should have 10 movements in two hours each morning and night. When he’s awake I can get ten movements in a couple of minutes. I’m thinking this might be a good sign… when he’s awake, he’s definitely awake, but then he crashes. Will this behavior continue after he is born???

As I mentioned, last week was busy. We started our prenatal classes on Tuesday. We will have them for a total of six weeks. I thought that with the class going until December 11th we’d be “gestationally” young as you typically finish the class about a month before your due date and we’ll finish about six weeks before our due date. But we were right in the middle with some couples having due dates the end of December and others the end of February. Last week we looked at the discomforts of pregnancy and why they happen… hormones, hormones, and more hormones for a lot of it… gotta love them, sometimes really dislike them. We also started the relaxation exercises… less tension usually results in less pain. Okay, we need the practice, but you put ten pregnant women at 8pm in a low lit room doing deep breathing and tension releasing exercises and I am incredibly surprised I didn’t hear snoring… and that I wasn’t snoring! Tomorrow we are to get a tour of Labor and Delivery and start talking about labor and what to expect… and then we build on the relaxation techniques- this time on the floor with pillows… how will I stay awake? Each class brings more reality that he is coming!

We also had an OB appointment last week. Little One is doing great. His heart rate was in the 140’s and my belly measured at 28 centimeters… right on for 28 weeks. So far my weight gain is pretty close to being on track for my total goal of 20lbs… hopefully I can stick pretty close to it. I just want Little One to be healthy. He should weight about 2 ½ lbs. now.

Jackie and I are trying to make going to the Healthy Living Center a routine. I am finding swimming to be relaxing and I just feel great after going. My body is supported in the water and it seems to take the stress off my back. Yesterday I did 40 minutes of kicking laps and several side-stroke laps. I don’t feel like I get as tired working out in the water. My only question is why do they make maternity swimsuits in vibrant colors with wild prints??? Do we really need to accentuate our “largeness”??? I guess I really don’t care anymore… my belly is a rite of passage and I’m proud of it. I hope to keep swimming as long as I can.

Well, I think that’s it for week 28. Week 29 starts in less than 48 hours! Take care…

Week 27: A Walking Zombie…

That’s how I feel, today anyway. I can’t complain at all about my pregnancy. I have probably had it pretty easy, but the fatigue… I just can’t get used to it. I am just plain tired. There are so many things I want to do and need to do, but just thinking about them makes me even more tired. Now if you were to ask my dad he’d tell you I was born tired and I’ll fully admit that I like sleep. Poor Steve probably thinks I sound like a broken record as he puts up with my, “I am so tired” phrase that occurs so frequently that I don’t even realize I’m saying it. These days I can hardly make it past 8pm without falling asleep on the couch. I think Steve expects it now. In fact the other night he went and got my cuddle pillow for me to use on the couch. Wow, that was the best two hours of sleep I have had in a long time. The only problem was I slept so good that when it was time for bed I couldn’t sleep. I think part of the problem is that the sleep I get at night isn’t overly restful. I am starting to reach that stage of pregnancy where finding a comfortable position just isn’t easy. And when I do get comfortable it’s just in time for my bladder to remind me that I have to go. I’m finding the Boppy Cuddle Pillow is worth every penny as it helps me stay on my side and supports my ever growing belly. For awhile I was trying to use Steve, but that only worked until one of us needed to roll over. Maybe this is in preparation for having a new baby, but I could really use some sleep. Last night I was determined to not fall asleep on the couch and I did it. It took a lot if distraction, but it worked. We had a few trick-or-treaters that helped take up part of the evening and then Steve warmed up the hot tub to a safe temperature… oh that felt great! So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke this morning to the sound of the school bus driving by… oh no, it was 7:10! I have been fighting to stay awake at my desk all day. My fear is that the third trimester (starting next week) is when the “energy burst” of the second trimester diminishes. Energy burst… I don’t think I really got it. Soon I’ll be back to wanting to crawl under my desk for a nap at 10am, again (an early pregnancy desire). Growing a baby takes A LOT of energy.

Other than being tired, life is good. “Wiggles” has had a few quiet days. He still squirms, but not too many big moves lately. He might be tired, too. Can you imagine all the things that are taking place in his little body… he’s becoming a full human being. Occasionally I get a little nervous that he is being too quiet, but then he’ll usually remind he is just fine by giving me a quick kick. I love those moves. He must be stretching out because he can push/kick just above my belly button at the same time he pushes on my bladder. He is supposed to be about 14 inches long.

On Monday Steve and I took an infant passenger class. They reviewed all the ins and outs of car seats… from how to pick one out to how to properly install it to how to put your 70lb child in a booster seat with out him being embarrassed. Yes, kids should be in a booster seat until they are about 80lbs and 4’9. It was amazing to hear all of this. Many people think a car seat is a simple device you use… but when 3 of 4 are improperly installed, it makes you think twice. Using some of the extra head supports or a car seat bunting are no-no’s. Did you know that a car seat expires? Yep, after six years it does… especially here in Minnesota where we have warm summers and very cold winters. It takes its toll on the plastic. I think we are educated and ready to go get that car seat.

Well, here’s to a good nap and a restful night’s sleep! Take care!

Week 26: "How do we do this?"

Did you notice that we are down to 98 days???

I am blessed… truly blessed! As I was driving to Rochester from Winona, MN yesterday, all I could think is that life is beautiful. This last weekend we were showered with love by my parents, sister, aunt and uncle, Jackie, and some truly wonderful friends as we celebrated the anticipation of Little One. Thank you to everyone that made this weekend so special! Steve's parents and sister also showered Little One with love this weekend. We wish they could have joined us.

“How do we do this?” is the question of the week. I’m sure you experienced parents would say it just happens… but how do you get ready? I initially thought the new dresser we bought to use also as a changing table and the closet system would hold more, but now I am looking at Little One’s room and thinking were do we put the diapers and socks and burp cloths and sheets. How do we organize all these new things? Steve was looking at the baby stuff we have now and said getting married was easy compared to this… I think he might be right. I have no doubt that even if we figured out the perfect system and found a home for every piece of baby paraphernalia, Little One will come out saying, “This is how I want you to do it.” For now we will do our best to get organized, but we also realize that things will likely change.

I’m not quite sure what is taking place inside my belly… Yes, there is a tremendous amount of development and growth… and a bit of rearranging my organs, but sometimes I wish I could peek inside to see what he is doing. Mr. Wiggles, Wiggle Worm, Squirmy are all names that would apply… and I’m sure this is nothing compared to what I will feel very soon. On Sunday I was leaning back on the couch with my shirt a bit taut and I could see flutters- I could actually see him move. Yesterday there was continuous movement… Flutter, flutter, flutter, something much bigger than a flutter, then flutter. His favorite spot at the moment is to the left of my belly button, but he also likes area just above my belly button. Occasionally he finds my bladder. I love feeling him move! Steve thinks it’s like watching a pot trying to boil. Little One is already teasing his daddy. I will get some big repetitive movements and as soon as I have Steve try to feel it, he stops just long enough for Dad to decide it isn’t worth waiting for. He is his father’s son! Once in awhile Steve gets to feel him.

Last week there was a set of quintuplets born in Minnesota. I was looking at their pictures and amazed to think that Little One looks somewhat like them as they were born at 27 weeks and we are 26 weeks today. He needs to stay were he is for another 12 weeks, but I can’t help but think about how big he is and what he looks like. He should be about 13 inches long and about 1.5 pounds.

So as I close, I will again say I am truly blessed by my family and friends! And I am completely amazed by the miracle of life!

Can I have a Kleenex, please…?

Week 25

This has been a quieter week for us… Steve and I, but I’m sure little one is busy growing and developing. He is definitely moving and wiggling. On Sunday Steve finally got to feel him move. I’m sure it will be more common now as he gets bigger. Isn't the animation of the little one on the right amazing? To think our little one looks something like it... WOW!

I think I must be starting to look like I am pregnant. I had three people I don’t know over the last week comment on me being pregnant or asking me when our baby is due. I probably don’t see it as much as I see my belly everyday. I know it is getting big by the fact that my clothes feel and look different. Last night in one last ditch attempt to wear a regular long sleeve t-shirt I put one on… guess what? It doesn’t fit. It’s too tight in the belly. Forget just being too short, now it too tight, also. So I think regular clothes are pretty much done until after little one arrives.

Last night we again had on Discovery Health and were watching a show about a family that had just given birth to triplets. I sat there feeling little one squirm and thought, “Oh my, we are going to have one of those”… excitedly. It’s not that this isn’t reality, but some moments are more real than others. I can’t imagine what it will be like to have a baby. One of my colleagues shared this thought with me, “To have a baby changes everything and is so extraordinary – It is forever to have your heart walking around outside of your body!” Wow what a thought… to have your heart walking around outside of your body. I can only imagine this is so true. I love him and I haven’t met him! I’m having another emotional week. Nearly everything baby brings a tear to my eye. More anticipated excitement.

My parents are coming this weekend and I am excited to see them. I’ve always been close with my parents, but now I feel there is this whole new element to our relationship as I anticipate becoming a parent myself. I can’t help, but wonder what my mom felt as she was carrying me. My hope is to give our child what my parents gave me… a sense of security in knowing that my parents loved and cared so much for each other that no matter what my sister and I would always be loved, too. I always had a warm, caring place to come home to. Something I don’t know many kids have these days.

About a week ago my best friend, Cindy shared the following with me… “TO BE A MOM”…

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey,"
she says half jokingly. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations..." But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking,

"What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire, will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse that watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "MOM" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boys desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonalds will become a major dilemma, that right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice, and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my child's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughters quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it", I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand, and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift-that of being a Mother!

Just a few thoughts… Have a wonderful week!

Mr. Wiggles

We are 24 weeks today… wow! Can you believe it? Every time I turn around it is a new week.

Life is absolutely amazing. Every time I feel this little guy move I sometimes can’t believe this is happening. I want to hold onto every wiggle and movement. I don’t want to forget any of it as I know he will be here before we know it. In last week’s post I said I hadn’t felt him move on the outside, but sure enough on Wednesday I felt him. I think I had my hand in just the right spot at the right moment. He has done it several more times since then, but never quite long enough for Steve to feel yet or he does it will I am at work. I can feel him on the inside all the time. His moves are starting to become somewhat more predictable. I know that as soon as I sit back or lay still, he will move. Most often, though, they are gentle wiggles. I can hear you moms say, “Just wait. They won’t stay gentle.” I prefer to call him “little one”, but as his squirms become more regular he may become “Mr. Wiggles”. I love it! It’s my reassurance that he is there and doing just fine.

We had another OB visit yesterday and little one seems to be right on track. It was a fairly uneventful appointment with a bit more focus on me than on him. I’ve managed to hold onto a cough longer than my OB would like, but I’m sure it is nothing to worry about. She checked his heart rate, but in the midst of our conversation I didn’t ask her what it was. Those little details are important to me. I want to know everything about him. He is measuring right on for 24 weeks. I am so blessed that Steve has been able to be at every appointment with me. He is such a good dad! While I am carrying our baby, this really involves both of us. On our journey to get pregnant it seemed like the physicians focused only on me, but thankfully OB views us as a couple. Steve is just as much apart of this as I am. Aside from some of the aches and such, I wish he could experience this. I know I keep saying this is amazing, but it is!

We are still playing the naming game. How do you name your child? It will be with him for the rest of his life and even after… *first name* *middle name* Hull. Forever. This is much harder than I thought. It was so much easier when I was little and naming my dolls. I’m sure he won’t come home from the hospital as Little One Hull… I don’t think we can do that, but thankfully we still have several weeks to decide. Keep offering your suggestions.

While the clothing saga is on hold… I’m doing fairly well this week; I am in a panic over cravings. We are quickly moving out of plum and nectarine season. What am I going to do? I know the easy answer would be to find a new craving, but I don’t know that it’s possible. Oh no. The HoneyCrisp apples are great, but they don’t hit the same spot… today anyway. Fortunately this week I have been on the Blue Bell grape kick. Poor Steve didn’t question me when I called him on Monday and asked if he could bring me a bag of grapes to work. I was obsessing over them and found it difficult to concentrate until I had them. I tell you these cravings are like nothing I have ever experienced. I found a carton of chocolate malt ice cream with chucks of chocolate filled with creamy fudge. Yes, I have found the ultimate ice cream for me. Thankfully, Steve is doing most of the grocery shopping so I don’t buy six cartons just in case they don’t make it anymore. It’s a special Minnesota Twins edition. I have my glucose tolerance test in four weeks and I hope I pass so I don’t have to give up my occasional bowl of ice cream.

Until later, take care!

Love Jen, Steve, and Little One… Mr. Wiggles

Ultrasound photos from 9/11/07

Here are the US photos... His face, a foot, a leg,his profile, and it's a boy!

Butterfly kisses and summersaults…

Oh, it has been too long since I last updated. The weeks are just flying. We will be 23 weeks tomorrow- WOW! Little one will be here before we know it.

Life has been interesting and crazy. I have had a few really busy weeks at work. I’m finally seeing the activity calm down, but then that means playing catch-up on everything I have had to put on the “back burner” to get the immediate stuff done.

To make things even more interesting both Steve and I have gotten sick. Okay, I was tired before, but add in busy days at work and a cold and I am wiped out! I have also been informed that colds during pregnancy hang on longer than colds normally do and there isn’t much to take to make me feel better. As a result of this cold, Steve and I had our first experience with Labor and Delivery. Apparently being pregnant with a cold and wheezing and a history of asthma gets you a fun filled afternoon in L&D. Actually I can’t complain because the staff was very friendly, perhaps a bit over cautious, but I suppose you can’t take chances. We had a TV and an interesting poster of various laboring positions to keep us entertained and wondering how some of them could possibly be comfortable. I’m sure in 15-18 weeks from now, we’ll find out. 15, oh my… breathe, Jen. Steve had fun blowing up the lumbar support in the bed. At least we got to see where we will be going. After a not-so-quick neb and stops to the OB appointment desk and the pharmacy we made it out of there in about three hours.

Steve has picked up a variation on what I have. Thankfully I didn’t get the fevers he has had. Wow, he can radiate heat! My bound-out-of-bed husband has spent the last few days on the couch, so I know he is sick. He’s got a sore throat and cough, too. Hopefully he’ll be up again real soon. I’m still not feeling great, but I’m trying to take care of him.

Okay, on to little one… I can finally really feel him being active. We knew from the ultrasound we had a couple of months ago that he was a wiggle worm, but now I can feel it. Usually at night when I lay on my side is when I can feel him the most. He pokes or kicks me in the same spots… just to the right or left of my belly button. I love it! A few nights ago I would swear he did a summersault. He did something. It was the most intense movement I have felt yet. So far his movements haven’t been strong enough to feel on the outside. I think I got Steve’s hopes up to feel him, but it just didn’t happen. I’m sure before too long Steve will be to experience it.

With both of us being home for a couple of days we have watched a few episodes of a Baby Story or Babies: Special Delivery on TLC or Discovery Health. While I’ve watched these shows many times in the past, they are different now. I’m not afraid of what I’ve watched, but there is some reality of the fact that little one will have to physically make his way outside of me…hmmm. Oh my… breathe again, Jen. Last night I asked Steve as one of the episodes was ending if he has moments were this hits him that this is really happening. He really doesn’t feel it yet. I suppose for me it is different, I’m carrying this little one. Each movement or a touch of my belly reminds me this is real. We got our confirmation letter of our prenatal classes that start in about a month making this all the more real. I guess I’m not just playing dress-up.

Steve has done a beautiful job of getting little one’s room ready. It is painted, wallpaper bordered, and the dresser is stained. Steve did a great job on matching the dresser to the crib and it looks wonderful. I’ll attach a picture of the room (the dresser is unstained in the picture). We still have to put the pictures back up on the wall, but we’ll get there.

Can you handle one more clothing saga…? I am struggling to like my clothes. I nearly melted down this morning trying to get dressed. Maybe I need a few more shirts. I, of course, bought almost everything in black, gray, and white to make mixing and matching work, but now I am tired of black. I think I am just overtired and over emotional. All I want to put on are my blue sweat pants and my favorite gray maternity shirt. Ugh, that doesn’t fly for work. Hey, at least I’m acting normal… this is a typical non-pregnant day.

I promise to try to keep this a little more up to date. Keep checking back. Steve and I have tried to get better ultrasound pictures up, but so far it isn’t working. I really want you to be able to see little one, so we’ll try again.

Take Care! Love, Jen and Steve